And your name is?...

I wanted to call this blog "Chicken Gate", but unless you were there it means nothing, and to start telling that story would mean asking you to sit down and instead of a 3 minute read we'd now be veering into short story territory! Another time, maybe…

Who would star and direct the film, “The London Jewish Social Scene"? Wasn't going to continue this, but I think I will… But first - what sort of film will it be? A love story? A crime caper? an Action Thriller, something family-friendly or all Blood and Guts? A Buddy Movie or a RomCom? A Murder Mystery, perhaps?

"The London Jewish Social scene.” It has to be directed by Quentin Tarantino and scripted by Aaron Sorkin. Obviously all that stylish violence and no prisoners taken with fast-paced dialogue (well I'm laughing!). The acting will have to be of the highest quality! Meryl Streep is a shoe-in for someone, actually so is Angelina Jolie, Bette Midler, Scarlet Johanson, Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Aniston. Men - let me think... The Jewish lawyer from Sex and the City (Evan Handler - I think he's adorable!), Billy Crystal, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld. Sorry, I have to have Micheal Fassbender and Daniel Craig. So there's the beginning - just have to develop the story now!

So much has been going on I don't know where to start! Just came back from a Gala Dinner which was... fun. My observation was that it was very Black. As I (and most of the guests and the catering staff) wore black with the smallest smattering of flowers and prints (hard to tell who’s-who sometimes). My black was a cocktail dress and my arms were showing  (I like to think a pale shade of tan. Hope there were no streaks!) My coat was gold brocade. That's my only comment on this, but note to self - must buy a coloured or patterned cocktail dress. Next year! Just seen a long yellow evening dress (will I look like a canary? Yellow with blonde hair... Probably…)

What's worse? Being written about or not being written about? Seems everyone has an opinion on this, which is good, but hang on - just let me think. I'm flattered that some of you remember what I've said when often, once I've written my blog, I've forgotten myself. As if what I think or say is important - obviously it is to some!

I had a spray tan before the Gala. On I looking at myself in the mirror, Christina (yes, she's in Team Francine) said she thought she'd sprayed a little too much on my face. She was absolutely right. Sheer panic set in. What could I do?! I calmed myself down and a very simple solution occurred. I washed my face. How did I get so smart? I just remembered to breathe... then all was well.

It started for me last week in Annabel’s when this couple sat next to us. The women's dress was slit down to her waist and her (must have been hugely expensive boob job) was exposed for all to see - front, side and even nipple all on show! No one knew where to look! And I mean no one. And now we have a picture of Selma Hayek and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley just to name two almost full frontals? Selma (who is married to Francois-Henri Pinault who owns all those luxury clothing brands) wore a dress that really defied belief at the Television Awards. I'm interested to know - why did she do it, or - who made her do it? It's so sad. I thought we'd said good bye to Page 3 but now this is making front page news. It's vulgar and not just a little pervy. One last thing - in the picture I'm looking at of her her eyes don't look happy. Aha! I've just thought - maybe she's New Husband Hunting. One thing for sure - she's not in my film. She may have played a women with a monobrow and a moustache but there's not much call for that in my film. Oh, hold on.. Just a minute!...

I met a women at a party in the summer and very quickly knew that I was the wrong sex for her to take any notice of me. My suspicions were confirmed. Here she was again this weekend. Her boyfriend greeted me with, “You remember Francine?” to which she replied, “No. Have we met before?" “Yes," he said "Francine was at my birthday dinner. I was sat next door but one to her." I knew it!! Only Men Matter - as I'm obviously so totally forgettable! And yes you guessed it - she's Russian/American. What a winning combination.

How, after a real "Black Friday” (Paris…) can we call this Friday, "Black Friday?” Maybe white or silver Friday, or maybe the best Friday pre-holidays to go shopping! But not black. It's only a reason for the shops to lower prices to entice us in. Not so black, please!

I'm so lucky to have a hugely diverse set of friends, as I was invited to a girls lunch at Claridges. A Fashion Lunch - preview a collection and eat if you dare! And you who know me, know I'm an eater! I sat next to this adorable women who's discipline either really inspired or terrified me! Setting the scene… Thirty women of “some" age in the highest heels, the tightest dresses, the shortest skirts and the longest hair. And Me in Winter White! This woman next to me - let's call her Mabel (protecting the innocent) had a lovely figure, not too long hair and the most unbelievable jewellery. At lunch. In fact, I think in that room there was more Jewelery than in Graff in Bond Street (all the way down the corridor there were security guards stationed). She told me that the way to be a size 34/36 Dior (and I'm anything from 40/42/44) is to not eat after lunch. And only ever 2 glasses of wine in the evening - whilst at a dinner playing with her food. I was of course the first to finish my main course. I didn't have any bread and only three quarters of a glass of champagne. No wine for me. But when the beautiful dessert came, she looked at me, I looked at it, and she said “I tell you secret." I leaned in. "Sweet is cellulite!" That was it. One tiny mouthful (just to taste, but it looked so wonderful) And then I remembered “Sweet is Cellulite.” That's a better prevention than what I've had before at a dinner, when a friend poured wine on my dessert to stop me wolfing the whole lot. Hmmmm… So I had to eat last night (who has this discipline? Obviously not me). But, in my own little way, I will… Maybe next time I go shopping I'll be a size 38. In my lifetime - Noooo…

Happy Shopping

F  XX

PS: Any idea what I can do with all the pasta in my fridge? Throw it out? No - I paid good money for that!
PPS: Just remember - I visited Erdem recently and the new Dior designer rumour is...

Darling... I don't eat chicken...

La Grande Horizontale

This is the position I find myself in writing this blog! Well done I hear you say... About what, I hear you ask?

Today my business partner and I launched our new company - PnR - with our first event. And what an event - it was wonderful (if I do say so myself!) Andrew Prince, the designer of all the amazing period-perfect Jewelery that was worn in Downton Abbey, and the films Young Victoria and Mrs Henderson Presents. We were hosted by Annoushka in her flagship store in Cadogan Gardens. He spoke about the history of Jewelery from Downtown to Gatsby. It was brilliant and inspirational but boy am I tired!

The title this week refers to the Mistresses of the time (early 20th Century) who wore wonderful Jewelery and generally married well, but because of their profession were know in some circles as "Les Grande Horizontale." The very same position I find myself in now! Although in my case (at present) all very innocent...

In other news, and I bore witness to it today, we are being overrun with a new craze called Groutfit - the idea of only wearing different shades of grey, as worn by Angelina Jolie. Who, in my eyes, looked awful. If you want to see it done well - Olivia Palermo. She's the one to follow it seems.  Every new fad has a name now, but not every new fad deserves one. Be very careful with this, as you run the risk of looking very dull - all that grey!

And continuing on the colour theme, I saw Rita Ora on the X Factor last week (no, I don't usually watch it at all but a friend told me to) which is where I caught sight of Rita and her new makeup. All dewy skin, green sparkling eye makeup, light mascara, a touch of blush and a slightly glossy nude lip. She looked wonderful, well done to whoever her makeup artist is. Funnily enough, my friend who made me watch it didn't like her look at all!

As I was sitting in Dr Sebag’s waiting room (the elixir of youth required from Dr Anne Mendelovici), I was flicking through some magazines and what caught my eye? Red and Black stripes. Where had I seen this before? Raf Simons farewell show to Dior,  spring/summer 2016 - red and black striped coat. I thought at the time this was a parting folly but this is definitely a future thing so start looking out for it now (one of my friends wore red and black today). A long time ago I used to have a red and black striped top (no, I don't still  have it). I thought at the time I looked like a footballer. Not a look to go for, but nevertheless it'll be coming to a shop near you very soon.

I have been so busy of late that I'm afraid I have no shopping news except for my new black bar jacket which is proving it was the best thing for me to buy. Money well spent! I found myself a few days this week with little time to eat… All that no food is very good for my body. Looking quite trim at present, especially with only 3 days in the gym! But talk of trim bodies brings me to a dinner I attended at Annabel's this week with a burlesque show by Agent Provocateur. What bodies those women had on the catwalk! Not one inch of cellulite to be found anywhere. Interesting outfits... Nod nod wink wink. I think I'll stick with La Perla thank you.

So lots of festive ideas rocketing around - let's see which ones we catch!

Happy Shopping

F  XX

La Grande Verticale

Just This Side Of Bonkers

What do we want to see when we go to an Art Gallery or a Museum by the way of clothes? Fashion garments, Royal regalia, outfits of past dignitaries and pop stars?

I was listening to the show Jeremy Vine on Radio 2. The subject of Mrs Thatcher's 

clothing and accessories were offered to the V&A museum as of interest to the nation. They declined the collection and I'm wondering if they've made a mistake. Vivian Westwood was interviewed on the show and although she hated the women and what she'd done to this country she regarded her as a fashion icon! And on reflection I might just agree. I'd much rather see the clothes that created her image than be spoon fed Chanel. That was just shown the Saatchi Gallery, just as a marketing tool to procure everyone's email. Margaret Thatcher was no Style Maverick or indeed on anyone's best-dressed list and yet she created her place in history in part through the use of clothes as a language. The collection is being sold later this month at Christies - I for one will be going to see her suits and handbags. Who knows? Maybe I'll be bidding as well! UPDATE - on the 3rd of November the V&A released a statement "that, the V&A might consider making a new offer to show or acquire the collection! "The V&A is a constantly evolving institution." Watch this space...

The Dior cruise collection Cocktail Party was held last night and what a happy place it was to be. For a house "in a little bit of flux the past 2/3 weeks" it were as if nothing had happened. I suppose they all learn from history "Sh.t happens and we must all carry on" John Galliano was a horrid time for Dior and the House not only survived but flourished under Raf Simons leadership. Now a new designer will be anointed (can't help thinking that his job will be nigh-on impossible) but he or she will do their best and all will carry on as normal. "A poisoned chalice" springs to mind... Back to the party. These affairs are always fun but last night seemed... "better " if that is the correct word. All were friendly and the clothes on the beautiful young lean-limbed girls looked wonderful. Lots of daywear (always a plus in my eyes) and those new boots... Don't get me started! 

One question I'd like to pose - "the etiquette of trying on clothes and parading them around at such an event." Now as a client I see nothing wrong in trying on clothes whenever, but something worries me about coming out of the changing room during such an event. No one is there to see that client and such narcissistic displays should not be encouraged. I agree!!

If you'd have seen me today you may have laughed, or as a friend of mine said "very Wes Anderson" - can't think of a bigger complement. From the bottom up: Tri-coloured shoes: blue-green and brown, maroon knee-length socks' stone-coloured, knife-pleated, mid-calf skirt; black very long side-buttoned cardigan; bright green and black striped mink coat, elbow-length blue gloves and pale greyish bag. And of course, lots of blonde hair with just the right amount of dark roots. Just the right side of Bonkers! I heard last night that someone recounted an outfit I had on last week to a friend, in a very flattering way. Living the dream... just living the dream!

A few years ago I used to see in the fashion pages lots of romantic black dressing. You know the look - hats, veils, long gloves, fur, long skirts, flock or net blouses, lace anything. Sort of Death in Venice in a romantic French way. That was a few years ago until today. Suspend disbelief, the "Harrods Christmas"magazine had such a fashion spread and I loved it! This is not Black Dressing as we know it. No body con, no platform hooker shoes. All mysterious and womanly. Going back to SPECTRE - the dressing of Monica Bellucci is a perfect example. I'm going to try some looks tomorrow. Yes, yes it's Black Dressing but done with love.

Sock Watch: Remember, if you will, the silver lurex socks I bought a few months ago? Yes I nearly forgot about them as well! Well there they sat on a shelf behind a pair of silver shoes and guess what?! I wore them yesterday with a pair of leopard print brogues (from last winter) and a pair of wide, grey flannel trousers. Hurrah! OK, you couldn't really see them but it was a pretty cool look for me. Unfortunately I'd topped off my look with a silver flecked (hence the socks) grey and black striped Cashmere jumper and my natural black mink jacket. And it turned out to be 18 degrees yesterday so although I think I looked good, the beads of sweat rolling down my forehead and also springing up on my (hairless) top lip did nothing to help me during a splendid lunch at the Arts Club!

Happy Shopping 

F  XX

Our Intrepid Reporter - just this side of Bonkers!

The One That Got Away!

Bicester! Playground of the chic and canny shopper... I visited said playground the other day, not for shopping but for the opening of the collaboration between itself and Fig 2 (the art project housed for 1 year at the ICA courtesy of Outset). I was so glad to have witnessed this partnership .Four pieces of art by four different artists were shown (Shezad Dawood, Deborah Coughlin and Gaggle, Annnika Strom, Vesna Peterson) and they were so aware  and so inclusive of their surroundings. Between now and 20 December. If you have the time (for shopping there's always time) go and visit Fig 2 at Bicester you won't be disappointed. The question I can hear you asking though is, did I buy anything? The answer is no! I nearly bought a short sleeved jumper in Ralph Lauren but wasn't sure. If in doubt, leave it out! But it was photographed...

Just heard Julia Peyton-Jones is stepping down as director of the Serpentine! It's gathering pace this, this Artistic shift. Are we witnessing the birth of "A New World Order" Art and Fashion-wise. Does this mean what I think it means? Just when I'm getting into the swing of mishmash and Victoriana with a touch of Haute Boho... Something new is going to hit us flat in the face. I wonder what?...

Gymnastics! The world finals are taking place in Glasgow and I've been glued to the two-hour showing every night. The strength the beauty the unbelievable mental agility. And I can nearly do the splits in Pilates. Actually I can! But only when I'm really working hard every day and my body is shall we say "in the grove." This for someone who did a smidgin of Ballet and Tap as a child is quite an achievement. But the dedication and training these people do is just mind-blowing. The triple twists on the floor. The men on the Rings. How, why, what happens next? But those are questions not for now. I think it's great and well done to BBC2 for providing the coverage. It's, I suppose, like ballet and that dedication also blows me away.

Halloween. I was late leaving town, so the huge box of chocolates that I'd bought sat unopened till 6:30. Actually, driving through St Johns Wood took the best part of 50 mins, for a 10 minute journey! The place was mobbed with tiny revellers and parents. When the first of the trick-or-treaters came a-knocking at my door, all was fine. Their tiny hands reached in and took chocolates for their treat and then came him! A little boy of about 6 or 7 who looked at my box of chocolates, looked at me and said "is that all you've got?" Somewhat surprised I said "Yes." So he said ,"well I'd rather not!" That was definitely a first - Quality Street not good enough for this little connoisseur. Just more for the other revellers. Really!

Next week starts the dinner season, and I began thinking about what to wear. Actually, I had already decided but on talking with a friend, I decided I hadn't really decided. So this morning I tried on a few dresses. And then it hit me! "to sleeve or not to sleeve" which is slightly ironic as that was touched on last week with Kate's red offering (dress with tiara). Not sure. My first dinner is not a religious dinner but... Well, I've tried on a few and the good thing is they all fit. Which is a very good thing. Now just have to decide, and you know me and choice - not such a good thing. 

I've just returned from Spectre. James Bond (Daniel Craig) can call me any time he wants! And the good thing is we know he likes Jewish Princesses (as his present wife is one ) you reckon he might like a blonde next time?... I really enjoyed Spectre. I did feel that the women's clothes reminded me somewhat of Casablanca and I'd like to know how, when captured with no visible signs of suitcases, our heroine managed to dress for every occasion? She obviously must be using the service where you send your clothes ahead of you? Yes, that must have been, as there were no shops or shopping in sight.

Be careful in the mist - very romantic, but scary.

Happy Shopping 


F   XX

He could still be mine...